UPDATE: Here’s a follow-up article I did two years after writing this.
Last week, I received an email from somebody who follows my Youtube Channel. He asked why I wasn’t regularly uploading videos like I used to in the past. That’s a good question and it deserves an answer:
I don’t like making crappy videos in which my performance sucks.
The next question would then be: why would my performance suck?
The answer to that one is something I debated if I would explain it or not. On the one hand, my personal life and health is nobody’s business but my own. I also don’t feel like sharing everything that goes on in my life with the entire world. I believe I already give more than enough access to my thoughts and life experiences. Finally, I don’t like people who whine each time they get a little bit injured and would rather not be seen as one of those.
On the other hand, I very much hate the macho-attitude that is rampant in martial arts and combat sports. You know what I mean; the guys who pretend like they can take everything that comes their way, they’re never hurt, they cannot be beaten, etc. I loathe that kind of immature showboating because it is both stupid and pointless. Fighting hurts. If you train to fight and/or fight a lot, you’ll get hurt regularly. If you’re unlucky, you’ll get injured and if you really push it, you’ll get chronic injuries. Pretending that this doesn’t happen is one of the biggest lies macho martial artists perpetrate.
A second aspect is the years I lived with pain and had no cure for it. If by sharing my story I can spare just one person going through that same ordeal, then it’ll be worth it.
Here goes.
Prelude
A bit over two years ago, I felt like crap. I was tired, weak and always in pain, in particular in my back and legs. Then all of a sudden the symptoms got worse and it felt like I had aged ten years in a month. So I went to my MD and he did a basic examination. Not much to be found except that I scored zero on the patellar reflex test. Meaning, he hit me with the hammer and nothing happened. My legs didn’t even twitch. Then started a long downward spiral that lasted until a few weeks ago… [Read more…]

